Day Four – Seriously, I Must Be Thin Now?

I thought that having got through Day Three scot-free that my toxin withdrawal would hit me with a vengeance today.  But no.  I feel exactly the same.  Emptier than usual, but the same.  Weird, right?  I’m obviously less toxic than I thought,  My mouth feels gross as I haven’t chewed anything for 4 days and it feels as though something might have died on my tongue, but I’m brushing (teeth and tongue) 3 times a day and scraping my tongue in between. Not the most earth-shattering of symptoms.  So apparently the worst is behind me.  Although a terrifying development has occurred.  Not only did I agree to extend our 7am walk by half an hour (Charlotte – who has been an absolute blessing – wants to lose serious weigh and has panicked since Shaz’s underwhelming results, so I agreed we should carry on), we are also getting up at 6:15am so we can tackle The Massive Hill Walk at 6:30 tomorrow morning when it’ll be slightly cooler.  The Massive Hill Walk is talked about ion hushed tones here, a feat more demanding than The Marathon Des Sables, if rumours are to be believed (I may be over-egging at this point).  No, not only this, but after we’d finished our hour and a half of yoga and meditation today, I suggested that we walk down The Smaller Hill and back again.  A 30 minute trip.  With 15 of those minutes uphill.  JUST FOR THE EXERCISE.  What the fuck is happening to me?  Anyone who knows me might have passed out in shock right about now, I’m sorry to break this shocking news to you so casually.  Very weird.  But as a side-effect, it beats my eyeballs filling up with pus and falling out*

The boys left today with springs in their steps as they’re now off to a luxury resort on the island.  I imagine they’re drinking Singha and laughing at their escape.  They only stayed for 4 days but John lost an epic 4kg (about 9lbs).  Morten lost a mere 1.5kg.  I can only imagine that he has 2.5kg of John’s semen weighing him down somewhere.  Eat your heart out Marc Almond.

No-one new arrives until Sunday and I leave that day at 7am, so it’s just Charlotte and I for the remainder.  Luckily she has turned out to be brilliant and it now feels kind of as though we’re at our own private spa.  Just with more poo than you might find at Champneys.

Right.  Time for enema, then colonic, then shower, then bed.  Early start for The Massive Hill Walk.  I may be some time…

*This image is for effect only and is not a known outcome of any detox anywhere as far as I am aware.  Any resemblance to persons living or dead is accidental and a coincidence.