{"id":12,"date":"2008-07-02T19:32:44","date_gmt":"2008-07-02T18:32:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/?p=12"},"modified":"2020-11-12T22:35:53","modified_gmt":"2020-11-12T22:35:53","slug":"so-heres-the-thing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/?p=12","title":{"rendered":"So Here’s The Thing"},"content":{"rendered":"

One of my main preoccupations (as in all the live-long-day) is wondering when he’s going to get this incredible new girlfriend who’s all the things that I could never be and is fundamentally more supermodelesque than I am.\u00a0 I obsess over this all day long.\u00a0 There is a teeny, tiny part of me (less than a millionth of 1%) that thinks “ha! just you wait… \u00a0going out with HER is only going to make you realise how fantastic I<\/strong> was”.\u00a0 The remaining majority thinks “he’s going to think she’s amazing and i will feel like a worthless worm.\u00a0\u00a0oh my oh my oh my”. \u00a0It’s ugly, I tell ya.<\/p>\n

Now, I have kinda, sorta heard from him a couple of times in the last week.\u00a0 Sorta. \u00a0As my shock revelation yesterday revealed, he and I work together. \u00a0And occasionally we have cause to contact one another with Vital Work Related Queries.\u00a0 Which you can imagine is a whole circus of pain for yours truly.\u00a0 So anyway, we’ve twice engaged in super-brief non-work chat as a result.\u00a0 And I mean brief; maybe 2 or 3 mails in the chain, if that. \u00a0This is not because I am a Strong Independent Woman Who Does Not\u00a0Need To Speak To Him As She Is Doing Very Nicely Without Him Thank You.\u00a0 \u00a0No, it’s because\u00a0I am a Doofus Who Is Pursuing A Policy Of Non-Response To Make Him Miss Me And ThereforeLove And Adore Me And Therefore Want Me Back. \u00a0Pitiful, isn’t it?<\/p>\n

So…\u00a0the last time (yesterday) I got the distinct impression that he definitely wanted to strike up some kind of longer conversation. \u00a0Again, about a millionth of 1% of me thinks that this is becuase he wants us to get back together *thrill* but, when\u00a0I got to thinking (a habit\u00a0I need to cure myself of), I decided either a) he was just being nice because he feels guilty about having a new girlfriend already or b) he wants us to be friends so he can tell me about his new girlfriend without guilt which are actually pretty much one option. \u00a0(“are one option”? \u00a0can that possibly<\/em>be correct grammar?)<\/p>\n

Before you shake your heads at my sheer insanity, let me share with you a moment longer…\u00a0 And before I share, I swear that I am not a weirdo stalker type. \u00a0Really. \u00a0He used to leave me alone in his flat and I never took the opportiunity to go through his stuff. \u00a0For one thing, that episode of sex and the city hit me pretty hard and for another, I’d always be too scared of what I might find. \u00a0Ignorance is bliss. \u00a0Anyway, I digress. \u00a0Whilst I’m not a weirdo stalker, I have, of course, indulged in the super fun game of just-who-is-this-girl-that-my-boyfriend-is-friends-with-on-facebook-who-he-has-never-mentioned-but-doesn’t-appear-to-be-wearing-very-much-in-her-profile-picutre-let’s-hope-that-bitch-catches-pneumonia-and-dies. \u00a0We’ve all played that, right?\u00a0 And there are no winners, just a big fat loser getting all bent out of shape over some bitch<\/span> perfectly innocent girl. \u00a0So whilst we were still together, the first time, a period nicknamed “blissful times I will never forget” I saw this girl in his friends list.\u00a0 And she is your basic nightmare of a facebook rival: young, pretty, blonde, tiny, scantily clad, silly name – let’s call her Mitzy.\u00a0\u00a0That’s not her name, but it’s not a million miles off and implies the kind of unintelligent abandon I associate with her. \u00a0All this based on a one inch-square photo…\u00a0 I did the usual “hmmm… she’s probably a friend of a friend’s sister or something” but no, she wasn’t friends with anyone else he knew.\u00a0 So\u00a0who the hell was she? \u00a0I didn’t ask, because outwardly I like to pretend that I’m cooler than that. \u00a0Only you know better… (don’t tell anyone.)\u00a0 Also, for all his many flaws, more of which to follow soon, he really wasn’t the cheating type (whatever that is) and I was pretty secure in us (these were the “blissful times I will never forget” remember) so it only kept me awake one night in every fifteen or so. \u00a0Then we broke up (read: he callously dumped me.\u00a0 Yeah, I’m still on that.).\u00a0 I did wonder whether he was looking to ride Mitzy into the sunset but he was really cut up about the whole thing (my friends and\u00a0I actually felt pretty sorry for him.\u00a0\u00a0The first time.\u00a0\u00a0 Fools that we were.) so it didn’t seem likely. \u00a0Plus, as much as I like\/love\/adore him, even I could see Mitzy could possibly do better ifyouknowwhatimean.<\/p>\n

Then came Project Reconciliation.\u00a0 One night during PR, I was at his flat, he was on Facebook and I leaned over and said “look, I poked you”. \u00a0And then, I saw, so had Mitzy. \u00a0Random hot Mitzy who appears to have been airlifted into his life by-passing all his other friends and family.\u00a0 Now. \u00a0I don’t know if I’m way off-beam and a madwoman or whether I am super-astute and intuitive but I think he looked kind of guilty.\u00a0 \u00a0He closed Facebook down very soon afterwards and I missed my opportunity to say “soooo… who’s Mitzy?” in oh-so-casual-fashion.\u00a0 In what may be a wholly unrelated point, he never actually poked me back.\u00a0 Ever again.\u00a0 Again, there could be a fine line between mental and inutitive here. \u00a0But i do wonder… \u00a0A couple of weeks later, when Project Reconciliation was rapidly turning into Project Nightmarish Car Crash, I asked him whether there was anyone else and he denied it vehemently – and I’m inclined to believe him.<\/p>\n

So the Mitzy mystery persists and a huge part of me thinks maybe now she’s the one who’s…\u00a0 Well, I don’t even really need to finish that sentence with a verb. \u00a0Part of me thinks, fears, that she’s The One.\u00a0 And I wasn’t.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One of my main preoccupations (as in all the live-long-day) is wondering when he’s going…<\/p>\n

Read the postSo Here’s The Thing<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,6],"tags":[10,14,13],"class_list":["post-12","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-voldemontfort","category-angst","tag-break-up","tag-dating","tag-relationships","excerpt","zoom","full-without-featured","even","excerpt-0"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":820,"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12\/revisions\/820"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}