I thought that having got through Day Three scot-free that my toxin withdrawal would hit me with a vengeance today.\u00a0 But no.\u00a0 I feel exactly the same.\u00a0 Emptier than usual, but the same.\u00a0 Weird, right?\u00a0 I\u2019m obviously less toxic than I thought,\u00a0 My mouth feels gross as I haven\u2019t chewed anything for 4 days and it feels as though something might have died on my tongue, but I\u2019m brushing (teeth and tongue) 3 times a day and scraping my tongue in between. Not the most earth-shattering of symptoms.\u00a0 So apparently the worst is behind me.\u00a0 Although a terrifying development has occurred.\u00a0 Not only did I agree to extend our 7am walk by half an hour (Charlotte \u2013 who has been an absolute blessing \u2013 wants to lose serious weigh and has panicked since Shaz\u2019s underwhelming results, so I agreed we should carry on), we are also getting up at 6:15am so we can tackle The Massive Hill Walk at 6:30 tomorrow morning when it\u2019ll be slightly cooler.\u00a0 The Massive Hill Walk is talked about ion hushed tones here, a feat more demanding than The Marathon Des Sables, if rumours are to be believed (I may be over-egging at this point).\u00a0 No, not only this, but after we\u2019d finished our hour and a half of yoga and meditation today, I suggested that we walk down The Smaller Hill and back again.\u00a0 A 30 minute trip.\u00a0 With 15 of those minutes uphill.\u00a0 JUST FOR THE EXERCISE.\u00a0 What the fuck is happening to me?\u00a0 Anyone who knows me might have passed out in shock right about now, I\u2019m sorry to break this shocking news to you so casually.\u00a0 Very weird.\u00a0 But as a side-effect, it beats my eyeballs filling up with pus and falling out*<\/p>\n
The boys left today with springs in their steps as they\u2019re now off to a luxury resort on the island.\u00a0 I imagine they\u2019re drinking Singha and laughing at their escape.\u00a0 They only stayed for 4 days but John lost an epic 4kg (about 9lbs).\u00a0 Morten lost a mere 1.5kg.\u00a0 I can only imagine that he has 2.5kg of John\u2019s semen weighing him down somewhere.\u00a0 Eat your heart out Marc Almond.<\/p>\n
No-one new arrives until Sunday and I leave that day at 7am, so it\u2019s just Charlotte and I for the remainder.\u00a0 Luckily she has turned out to be brilliant and it now feels kind of as though we\u2019re at our own private spa.\u00a0 Just with more poo than you might find at Champneys.<\/p>\n
Right.\u00a0 Time for enema, then colonic, then shower, then bed.\u00a0 Early start for The Massive Hill Walk.\u00a0 I may be some time\u2026<\/p>\n
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*This image is for effect only and is not a known outcome of any detox anywhere as far as I am aware.\u00a0 Any resemblance to persons living or dead is accidental and a coincidence.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I thought that having got through Day Three scot-free that my toxin withdrawal would hit…<\/p>\n