There’s a morose, miserable, navel-gazing post on the way. I started it this morning and will probably still finish it, because there’s no point wasting all that negative energy, is there?<\/p>\n
Anyway,\u00a0I went out for lunch and, as ever, spent the entire time wondering why he isn’t missing me yet and why he hasn’t COME BACK. I tell myself that now we have No Contact At All he will be struck by pangs of loneliness and will wonder how I am. Furthermore, I mentally plough on, it won’t be long until he mails me, just to check in. Thus fortified, I come back to my desk. The first thing I do every time I sit here is to quickly scan my mailbox for emails from him – hey, it’s been a habit for over 2 years, that’s tough to break. and… there it is. A mail. From him. No subject, so obviously isn’t a work-related mail. And in any case, what subject could you possibly put on an email that says “I love you. I’m so sorry. Let’s be together always”<\/p>\n
My heart leaps into my throat, my hands tremble towards my mouse, my soul sings…<\/p>\n
Hope you are ok, ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????<\/p>\n This is not the heartfelt reconciliation mail I was going for. This is evidence that my so-beloved ex-boyfriend is such a wiener that he can’t even use the fucking internet. There is part of me that longs to believe that this is some contrived method of him getting in touch with me, because he’s scared I won’t want to know. But honestly, I know that’s not it. (even i am managing not to be THAT deluded- teeny, tiny victory, woop woop!)<\/p>\n And now I don’t know what to do. List of possible options:<\/p>\n 1) use this as an opportunity to strike up conversation and remind him how great I am (I should not do this) And after that, I’m all out of ideas. I reserve the right to come back and edit if a genius suggestion comes to me though…<\/p>\n I haven’t replied. I’ll wait until the cash comes in then work out what to do. Let him stew a while. What’s the bets the Universe throws us together again, just as i’m trying to be aloof? Universe, just what IS your plan for me???<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" There’s a morose, miserable, navel-gazing post on the way. I started it this morning and…<\/p>\n
\n“him”<\/p>\n
\n2) tell him to fuck off (I should do this. but cannot bring myself to, because I want him to love me beyond reason and COME BACK)
\n3) not reply, take the money and buy myself a new, improved boyfriend (one who can use the internet maybe)
\n4) wait for the money to come in, transfer back with a sweet, funny email that makes him adore me
\n5) wait for the money to come in, transfer back, say nothing in the hope that non-contact makes him yearn for me
\n6) wait for the money to come in, transfer half back, say nothing and blame it on a computer glitch if he queries it. buy myself new shoes with the proceeds.
\n7) pay the whole amount back, a pound a day. This one appeals to me most actually. mainly because then i will feature on his bank statements every day for (potentially) months\/years. And it’s the kind of thing that I do (i.e. obnoxious and I find it hilarious, but no-one else really gets the joke)
\n8 ) this is SO obvious, I can’t believe it didn’t come to me sooner… I tell him he can have the money back if we get back togther. Let’s see just how badly he wants that cash…<\/p>\n