the bacon gets me<\/a> I think that’s a fair estimate. \u00a0This means that I have only weathered 0.19% of the Dying Alone storm.\u00a0 And yet it feels like an eternity already. \u00a0So yeah, time isn’t really something I’m relying on to make me feel better just now. \u00a0Get me a fast forward button and we could be in business.<\/p>\n5) “He’ll be back”. \u00a0A surprise entry this one, you may think. \u00a0But no. \u00a0I really, really don’t need to hear this one, even though hearing it is the most comforting thing imaginable.\u00a0 \u00a0He already came back once, during the ill-fated Project Reconciliation which lasted from March until May, at which point he dumped me all over again and it’s this latest rejection that I’m still reeling from. \u00a0Whilst I hope with every fibre of my being that he will be back, I can’t count on it.\u00a0 Attempts to prop me up by suggesting that his return is imminent are extremely ill-judged as it just adds to my hope-against-hope that things will be alright with us in the end. \u00a0At the moment, all it makes me do is go crazy trying to think of new, miracle schemes to Get Him Back. \u00a0This is pretty tricky anyway, since I thought of pretty much everything the first time we broke up – and to my credit, I actually played a blinder and he did briefly realise the error of his ways. \u00a0Very briefly.\u00a0 So yeah, don’t tell me that he’ll be back, because all I do is get pissed off all day that he’s not come back yet. \u00a0What’s keeping you??<\/p>\n
6) “It wasn’t meant to be.” \u00a0Oh really? \u00a0Really? \u00a0Well I thought it was and I’m NEVER (well, hardly ever, forget about those other guys that I was equally certain about because this one was DIFFERENT, ok?) wrong about these things so what the hell do you know anyway, you interfering FOOL???? \u00a0Luckily, I don’t ever actually say this out loud but it’s an all-encompassing internal monlogue whenever this conversation is attempted by well-meaning, deeply lovely and probably correct friends.<\/p>\n
7) “You wouldn’t have been happy.” \u00a0How happy do I look right now as I sob on you for the 20th time this hour? \u00a0I’ll take miserable with him over miserable without him, thanks.\u00a0 (I know how lame this sounds. believe me)<\/p>\n
8 ) “You were too good for him.” \u00a0Oh.\u00a0 Just.\u00a0\u00a0Stop. \u00a0Does this really seem likely? \u00a0When has anyone, ever, in the history of the universe got rid of someone for this reason?? \u00a0Surely you’d be punching the air in triumph at your outrageous good fortune and not dumping said beacon of fabulousness. \u00a0Twice. \u00a0In 6 months (did I mention that that’s what he did? \u00a0At all? \u00a0Stop me if you think that you’ve\u00a0heard this one before…)<\/p>\n
9) “Try to keep busy”.\u00a0 Do you KNOW how boring it is trying to keep busy for the sake of it?\u00a0 All I want to do is sit around in my pants wailing about how awful my life is and will be forevermore and you want me to make an effort to go out and talk about something other than myself and ALL MY PAIN?\u00a0 I thought you were my friend???<\/p>\n
10)? “You’ll be fine. \u00a0Remember how you\/I felt when you\/I broke up with whatshisface? \u00a0You\/I got over that, you’ll get over this”. \u00a0Yeah, well, whatshisface was a loser anyway, and you\/I wouldn’t have been happy with him – it just wasn’t meant to be. \u00a0In fact, you\/I were too good for him. \u00a0It was totally his loss and you\/I found someone much better.\u00a0 Can’t you see the difference between the 2 scenarios here?? \u00a0Am I missing something???<\/p>\n
11) \u00a0“He got married last weekend and he’s never been happier.\u00a0 He specifically mentioned in his speech that it wasn’t him, it was you and that not only does he rue every moment of every day that he knew you, but his new wife is funnier, prettier, cleverer and better than you in every way.\u00a0 In fact, he said that in many ways he feels she’s far too good for him and then he punched the air in triumph at his outrageous good fortune.” I\u00a0live in constant fear of hearing this news. \u00a0I’m not even kidding.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
1) “It’s his loss.\u00a0 It clearly isn’t. \u00a0If he felt it was his loss, he’d…<\/p>\n
Read the postThings Not To Say To Me Right Now<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,6],"tags":[10,14,13],"class_list":["post-9","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-voldemontfort","category-angst","tag-break-up","tag-dating","tag-relationships","excerpt","zoom","full-without-featured","even","excerpt-0"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":822,"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9\/revisions\/822"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.soanyway.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}