So… Rewind just over a year and imagine me sitting at a table, having dinner with a variety of Beautiful People. For once, in spite of being in the very throes of Break Up MkI, I am making heroic efforts not to cry as I’m In Company and have been invited round to a friend of a friend’s for dinner in order to prevent me from moping at home on a Saturday night. My efforts are heroic indeed, so well disguising my inner woe and despair that conversation around me turns to break-ups and the pain therein as the assembled company (bar the friend who invited me) have no idea as to my recently crippled state. One of them, we’ll call him Mark, said that he had been devastated by his last break-up and had wandered around in a near catatonic state for weeks, nay months, afterwards. His first glimpse of hope came one day as he was sitting on a bus: the sun was shining, a great song came on his iPod and an unprompted thought of “I’m glad I’m single” popped into his head. My friend Emily reacted immediately “You had an iPod moment!” she exclaimed, bouncing up and down and pointing her finger in excitement. It transpired that she too had had an iPod epiphany following an equally devastating break-up and although there were still Dark Times ahead from time to time, it was the first time she thought that she might actually get better. Some day. (And, in fact, she pretty much has. As has Mark. True survivors of the relationship battleground.)
So, as you can imagine, for the last year, I’ve been wondering when (actually, if) my own moment would ever come. And, watched kettles and all that, of course it never has. Last night I was on the tube home and had to change trains. I closed the book I’d been reading that had been making me laugh out loud, smile on face, then registered the song that was on my iPod. Good old Bonnie Tyler belting out Holding Out For A Hero. I had a sudden convergence of thoughts:
1) I was looking forward to finding a hero. I hoped he’d be Welsh, like La Tyler.
2) Hero would undoubtedly be better for me than Dave
3) Had so many great plans for the next 6 months
4) It was great not having Dave in my life any more, being single wasn’t so bad.
Then I stopped still. This was it. It was my iPod moment. Courtesy of Bonnie Tyler. How deeply uncool. The sun wasn’t shining but the other factors were there. So finally. Obviously I burst into tears and was a bit weepy for the next 3 stops. But still. The realisation and ensuing thrill was almost enough for me to sail through the fact that it was a year yesterday that he came back after Break Up MkI. Almost. Small steps.
All hail Bonnie Tyler.
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